Never Keeping Count

I had two close friends in high school. I consider them both to be equally good friends, but one of them was easier to be friends with.

When I went anywhere with one of them, I could be assured that if I did something for her, she'd return the favor within a short time. As though she kept a running tally in her head, to insure that she was never indebted to anyone.

The other friend and I did all kinds of things, and sometimes she'd pay, sometimes I would. If either of us had the means to help the other, we did, and nobody kept count. To this day I cannot tell you whether she, or I, gave more. It simply did not matter.

I can now see in my life, that when friends are new, I keep count, just as my high school friend did. I keep count because I am not certain of my place in their regard, and wish to make sure that I do not unknowingly take advantage of them.

But my best friends have always been those with whom there was no need to keep count. We did what we did because we cared, and we gave what we were capable of. It did not need to be returned in kind. I enjoy friendship more when we progress to that point - not because of what I receive, but because I know that each of us considers the friendship to be worth giving anything that we feel we are able to give.

Written by Laura Wheeler
Owner, Firelight Web Studio
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