Kindness in Our Town

Three years ago, when my youngest son was diagnosed with cancer, we had an opportunity to learn a great deal about how people react to tragedy, and that the things you assume about people, are often false!

Nearly everyone said, "If you need anything, just ask." When you are in the midst of hardship, you CAN'T ask! Sometimes asking is too great a task, and even when you feel you might ask, you don't, because when someone leaves an open statement like that, you have no idea just what it is they are offering.

We quickly learned that some people said that just as a gesture, others said it and meant it. The people who did things for us were not at all the people we would have expected it from.

Many of our friends sort of disappeared. They were not comfortable dealing with us. That was somewhat hurtful. But we coped.

The surprise was that many people in town whom we did not really consider to be friends, came forward with gifts, offers, and kind actions. And from a few of them, it was REALLY unexpected.

One family, no better off financially than we, set up $200 on account at the local convenience store, for us to use for gasoline, or food.

Another family gave us a box of Christmas gifts - thoughtfully chosen, and very appropriate to my children's ages and preferences. They also gave them Easter gifts that year.

We were given deer (cleaned and skinned, but not cut up, which was fine with us!), elk, and trout from a family in a nearby town.

Many families in town contributed to a Christmas gift and food box for our family. Others offered transportation, childcare, hugs, and sympathy. And if Alex's prognosis was influenced by prayers, there is no doubt that the host of people sending petitions up on his behalf must be responsible for his amazing progress.

A similar pattern repeated itself when our daughter Sidney was diagnosed with a severe form of dwarfism. People whom we would not expect, came forward to offer sympathy, and to tell us they'd been there too. When she died, it was again surprising who was there for us, and who was not. Many people who were, had not been close to us before. Some people who should have been there, were conspicuously absent.

Now, even though time has passed, my opinions of some of the people here have changed for the better. Their hearts, to me, are unmistakably good, because they did me a kindness when they did not have to, and when others who talked about it never did.

Written by Laura Wheeler
Owner, Firelight Web Studio
http://www.firelightwebstudio.com
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