Long Time Coming
My grandfather fell in love when he was young, with a nice young lady. He married her, and moved across the country with her. On their way back across the US, their car was hit by a train, and she died.
He returned to his hometown, apparently shattered by the loss. Her younger sister was only too glad to comfort him, and he married her several months later. The younger sister was my grandmother.
For a number of reasons, my grandmother was never certain of her husband's love for her - we know that she was about 2 months pregnant when they married, but do not know specifically what their reactions were. It is probable that he married her out of loneliness more than love, and he gave grandma quite a bit of trouble for many years.
He'd go off for a week at a time, getting drunk and her having no idea where he was, or how she was supposed to take care of their growing family. She said she always had one baby in her arms, and one in her pocket. Her seven children came pretty close together.
After a near fatal hospitalization, grandpa decided to give up drinking. He did, and never looked back. While he was in no way a model husband after that, he was more stable in his role as husband, and as father. He was remembered with respect and affection by his sons and daughter, and his grandchildren remember him as a reserved, but kind grandfather.
My mother tells of my grandmother coming over one day, she must have been in her 50's or 60's by then. She was giddy and giggly. I guess Ma was questioning, because grandma finally confessed the source of her excitement - "Welsh kissed me on the back of my neck!"
Grandpa was not an openly affectionate man, and for him to make a spontaneous gesture of affection to his wife, while she was washing dishes, was out of character for him. My grandmother's response to it tells a great deal about their relationship, that such a thing would touch her so deeply suggests to me that she was insecure in her role as second wife.
We do know that she was always jealous of her older sister. She felt that her sister always got what she wanted, including grandpa. Grandma got him eventually, but was always sure in her heart, that if he had to make a choice between the two, it wouldn't be her.
I think in their later years, she did know that he loved her. But it was a long time coming, and she endured many years of uncertainty and hurt until she knew that.
Such situations were not uncommon at the time. My grandmother was no alone in wondering whether her husband truly loved her - many men never uttered such words aloud, and never knew the yearning of their wife's hearts to hear them.
But I also think that grandma was not unhappy. They had many years together, raised seven children, and then spent their last years together. Grandpa died at the age of 70, and grandma was never quite whole again.
Written by Laura Wheeler
Owner, Firelight Web Studio
http://www.firelightwebstudio.com
Ask us about getting the website you need to help your business succeed, at a price you can afford!
|
